I always thought that I’ve been in love with Lizzy, the woman I adore, since the first time I saw her. I wasn’t looking for love when I first saw her, but I was immediately struck by her beauty and demeanor. However, circumstances at that time did not permit anything beyond friendship to flourish and I was left with nothing but regret for not even trying.
Fate, however, gave me a second chance and I wasn’t about to go down this time without a fight. Although it came right after a disappointment of not being able to follow through with a prearranged plan that I have already laid out for myself, getting a chance to have her back in my life was more than enough contingency. She is, after all, the woman I have long adored, although I wasn’t prepared to acknowledge that then.
When we started communicating in late August, I had no preconceived idea that this would lead into something beautiful. She was, after all, so distant and, I thought, was no longer attainable. However, the more time I spent chatting with her, the more I realized that I loved talking to her. Not only was I physically attracted to her, I realized that I was mentally and emotionally falling for her too.
And so I finally had the courage to tell her that I wanted to woo her even if it meant having to be in a long-distance relationship where the odds are usually stacked against your favor. However, I was prepared to go the extra mile to make this work. There was no way in hell that I would lose this woman again for lack of effort and creativity.
Being in love with the woman you adore is such a beautiful thing, but telling her you love her is probably the most complicated thing that you could face in your relationship. There’s always the issue of timing and other bunch of parameters to consider, such as, if you are indeed ready to acknowledge this feeling and not appear to be clingy and psychotic at the same time.
And I have made some unfortunate remarks to this end when I was drunk a few times, which I promptly took back when I was sober or sane enough to realize my slip up afterward. I had to consider the fact that she does think that saying I love you too early is in fact psychotic behavior. And I don’t want her to label me as such. I don’t want her to think that I am as psychotic as The Millennial.
Yet we feel what we feel deep inside. And I think life is too short to leave important things, such as being in love, to be left unsaid. When I finally had the courage to tell her those magic words without being drunk enough, it actually started with a slip of tongue. She was about to board a bus when I told her that and I took them back right after I said that.
Then, I realized I really meant those words. I have been in love with her for so long that it was probably my subconscious blurting out what I have been trying hard not to say. So when we talked about it over a bottle of craft beer, I told her the truth: that I really loved her and that I don’t care if she thought it was psychotic of me to say that.
There’s no hard and fast rule, nor technique to tell us when to do this. You just feel that the moment is right. Damn the consequences. You see, I truly love this woman and I was prepared to get my heart broken again just to be able to tell her that. Having the courage to tell her that in person is probably the pinnacle of all of these feelings. Well, except the part when she said: “I love you too.”
Hearing those magic words made me the happiest man in the world.
