Long-distance Relations Could Work

By AbelardoLove and Courtship
LDR

Long-distance relationships never get a fair shake. People always dwell on the negative, like how it’s hard to maintain the passion when you don’t see each other often. I, however, don’t see it that way. They can shovel whatever statistics they want to discredit it, but there is a reason why so many couples still engage in long-distance relationships.

I think the reason is: loving or having feelings for someone is hard enough that when you feel it, you grab at the opportunity even if the other person is afar, because you just don’t know when you’re going to be able to feel the same way again. Unless, you’re a serial “faller-in-lover,” if that word even exists.

If I was to convince Lizzy, the woman I adore, who happens to believe otherwise, that long-distance relationships could work, I’d tell her that:

One of the reasons why long-distance relationships fail is that it’s hard to make a meaningful connection when you’re still at the getting-to-know-each-other stage and you’re doing it from afar. That’s not gonna work. Not so when so started as friends or have known each other for a time. Being friends and then upgrading your relationship to a higher plane makes it more likely to work.
Finding commonalities is a vital step in developing a nurturing relationship. It doesn’t have to be a perfect fit as nothing is perfect in this world. It’s being able to appreciate your commonalities and being able to recognize and respect your differences as well. Personally, I don’t need a perfect relationship. I just need someone who won’t give up on me when times get rough. This is where knowing each other helps.
Communication is the fuel that fire of your relationship burning. While it is hard not to have physical, face-to-face communications in a long-distance relationship, we do have at our disposal modern means of technology, even old-fashioned letter-writing, to mitigate the geographic distance. Distance should no longer be a big factor in maintaining relationships. Commitment, compromise and trust should be.
I’ve got to remind Lizzy that while there’s no pressure to do this at the soonest, being able to see each other once in a while is key towards developing intimacy in a long-distance relationship. Having said that, being able to come and visit once in a while on a mutually acceptable pattern and frequency would greatly help. And when you do see each other, the time you spend together would even be more meaningful and magical. 
An important factor in any relationship is being able to give the other party enough personal time to grow on her own. This is something that you can be able to give while on a long-distance relationship. You give her more than enough individual freedom to grow as a person because you aren’t there to micromanage her schedule. It reinforces the need to build trust with each other. 
 
Having said all of that, I wish that Lizzy would take a good look at the benefits rather than dwell on the negatives. Yes, it’s hard for average people to make long-distance relationships work. But I do believe that Lizzy and I aren’t average people. We are exceptional people and we can make this one work. 
 
You have enough time to think about this, Lizzy. There’s no pressure. No expectations.
 
[Note: This post was first published on October 7, 2016 at https://abelsantaanave.blogspot.com]
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